The Pathway to Loving Yourself More Deeply with Dr. Kelly and Dr. Pat
There has been a lot of talk around the movement of self love in the past years and Dr. Kelly brings us incredible insight into the science and psychology of holding your own needs in high priority in your life.
In this show, they discuss the pathway to loving yourself more deeply. Where do our blockages to self-love come from? How do we find forgiveness for ourselves and begin to change our cycles of negative self-talk? How can we re-train our brains to think more positively and become 'self-cheerleaders.' We will go over important steps of daily practice for bringing more love into our lives and thinking more positively about ourselves and our futures.
Dr. Kelly Neff is a psychologist, author and founding director of The Lucid Planet. Dr. Neff has reached millions of people with her articles on psychology, spirituality and wellness, which have been featured on websites like The Mind Unleashed, Mind Body Green and The Lucid Planet. Before she became a full-time author, Dr. Neff spent seven years as a psychology professor where she helped thousands of people learn about health, relationships, love and sexuality, and co-authored the groundbreaking manual in her field, Teaching Psychology Online. She holds a B.A. in Psychology from Georgetown University and an M.A. and Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Claremont Graduate University.
Dr. Pat: This is Transformation Radio.FM and I have got Dr. Kelly Neff joining me here today because she is all about the lucid planet. I wanted to ask you this question because this is your topic today; what had been your challenges, as Dr. Kelly, of looking at your own pathway to loving yourself, girl?
Dr. Kelly: In Psychology we actually joke about this. It’s very easy to have the knowledge and to help other people solve their problems but that doesn’t mean you can apply it your own life. We never said that we kind of understand how to use these tools in our lives. There’s definitely been a struggle in the sense of always feeling like I really didn’t fit in. And always feeling like I had to kind of people-please and try to give everyone everything they want in hopes that maybe someone would someday help me meet my needs.
Of course, it’s just not a healthy way to live and I’ve been down this road of being surrounded by narcissists, and I know we’ve talked a lot about this. And having narcissists just kind of draining or vamping your life energy but feeling kind of unworthy to escape from that.
The narcissists are very good at making you believe that you believe them and that you’re nothing without them and you have to keep giving to them. I have been down that road and the one thing that really got me out of it was quieting myself down and going within. And really listening and connecting to myself, and almost in a soul-retrieval type of way where I have conversations with myself, my younger self in my mind.
Yeah, that might sound kind of crazy to people but there’s really something to be said for focusing in on the times in your life when you feel like you weren’t good to yourself and forgiving yourself for those times. Forgiving yourself for placating these narcissists for so long or not standing up for yourself. Then you kind of start to realize that through that forgiveness process you can make inroads into loving yourself more deeply and being OK with where you’re going because you’ve learned from the mistakes you’ve learned in the past.